If you’re becoming increasingly concerned that your partner may be displaying unhealthy behaviors which may escalate in the future, it’s important to look out for relationship red flags. Clear signs that it’s time to take off your rose colored glasses and to take a clear, logical look at your relationship and your partner’s behavior. Listed below are a few signs that a relationship is unhealthy to look out for.
As sometimes when you’re in love with someone it’s hard to notice red flags that your friends and family members may try to warn you about. Especially as it’s normal to try and justify the actions of someone that you love.
1. Lack of Open and Honest Communication
In a happy, healthy relationship you should be able to have open, honest conversations with your partner. If your partner answers your questions with vague, avoidant answers or tries to avoid difficult conversations, you may want to consider seeking relationship counseling. As a qualified counselor may be able to identify the root of your partner’s communication issues.
In many circumstances individuals who struggle with open and honest communication, grew up in a family with parents who struggled to communicate openly with each other and simply are unaware of how to communicate more effectively. Alternatively you may discover that your partner has a hard time opening up about their feelings with you due to deep seated insecurities that they may have. Through attending regular couples therapy, you’ll be able to learn useful techniques to improve your communication and bond as a couple.
2. Controlling Behavior
If your significant other has a controlling streak and tries to tell you how to dress, what to eat or when you can spend time with your friends and family members, you should be concerned. As in a healthy relationship your partner would never try to control you. Never mistake controlling behavior for love as if your partner truly loves you, they would support the decisions which you make for yourself.
Also avoid dating an individual who tries to take control of your finances and tells you how you can spend your money. Remember that you should never have to ask your partner for permission to spend your own money. If you’re currently dating an individual who tries to control your money, either seek couples counseling or end the relationship. As if you don’t have control over your finances, your freedom as a mature adult is compromised.
3. Trust Issues
Trust is the foundation of great relationships. If your partner has serious trust issues, they may start to exhibit signs of dangerous, possessive behavior. As an example, if your partner feels the need to constantly check up on you when you’re not together or accuses you of flirting with other men or women, you have legitimate cause for concern. As if your partner feels that they can’t trust you, they may blame you for innocent behavior or may start to try and control your life in order to calm their fears that you may cheat on them. Worse yet, it’s not unusual for patterns with trust issues to display signs of aggression.
One common behavior which many individuals with trust issues exhibit is the need to check their partner’s smartphone. If your partner snoops on your smartphone or asks you to unlock your smartphone so that they can check your messages and contact list, they definitely have serious trust issues.
Remember that your partner’s lack of trust in you is not your fault and may be caused by serious insecurities that your partner may have. That may need to be addressed in counseling sessions.
4. Possessiveness
While it’s normal to want to spend a lot of quality time with your partner, especially in the early stages of a new relationship, there is cause for concern if your partner becomes possessive and tries to stop you from spending time with other individuals. While it’s great to spend quality time together, it’s also important to spend time alone and to spend time interacting with others such as work colleagues, family members and friends. As in order to maintain your individuality and your own thoughts and opinions, it’s healthy to spend time apart from your partner from time to time.
It’s also important to retain nurturing, supportive connections with other individuals as your support network should never be composed of a single person. No matter how much you love them or how close you are. Remember that there may be times when you go through rough patches with your partner and you may want to turn to your friends and family members for support and advice. So it’s important to continue spending time with your social circle.
5. No Respect for Boundaries
You should also be concerned if your partner ignores or pushes your boundaries. As an individual who blatantly ignores their partner’s boundaries shows a lack of respect and care for their partner. If you’re looking for red flags in a relationship, not respecting boundaries is a key red flag as you should never date an individual who doesn’t respect you and your boundaries.
What are some examples of relationship boundaries which toxic partners may ignore? If your partner continues to try and touch you in an intimate way, when you tell them to stop, they are clearly violating your boundaries. As another example, if your partner tries to get you to engage in a sexual act that you don’t want to try, they are also violating your boundaries. Remember, that there is never a valid reason for your partner to ignore you when you set a personal boundary or say no.
6. Negative Comments
Also take note if your partner frequently talks down to you or uses negative comments to make you doubt your self worth. As some individuals use negative comments and insults in order to decrease their partners’ self esteem so that they feel a sense of dominance over their partner.
One way to discourage your partner from making hurtful, derogatory comments is to immediately tell them that their behavior is unacceptable each time that they make a negative comment about you. Remember that in most cases, people only treat you the way that you let them. So it’s important to stamp out any toxic behavior as soon as you notice it.
So if your partner displays many of the bad relationship signs listed above, it’s well worth seeking out professional help and booking your first couples therapy session. As through therapy sessions you’ll discover whether your partner simply has insecurities which can be addressed or whether you’re better off ending your relationship for your wellbeing and safety. As you deserve to be with a partner who trusts you and who treats you with respect and love.
